I Need More Time!!!

My very first lesson about medical school and their students, STUDYING IS THEIR LIFE! OMG!


Jason has class from 8am until about 5pm - roughly equivalent to a full time job. After class, Jason studies at least until about midnight. Saturday, Jason has lab all day. His only day off is Sunday. Can you guess how he spends it? Yep that's right ladies and gentlemen, STUDYING. Ok, so I'm not there with Jason to speak from first hand experience, but he tells me that he is so busy sometimes, that he barely has time to eat! In addition to attending class, lab and studying, Jason also works as an EMT, tutors other students and is on the board for five different student organizations. Talk about busy...


Now, I have a full time job myself, true, I sit on the couch and watch television when I get home after five, but still, I have things to do too! Not to mention the four hour time difference between Jason and myself, making time to speak to one another is often one of the hardest things to do. Its not only about making time in each other's schedule, but its also about coordinating and accounting for the time difference. I can't tell you how many times we've agreed to talk at 6pm and screwed up in which time zone of 6pm we were actually going to talk.


I'm already far away from him, I can't hold him, touch him, massage him when he feels stressed out, make lunch for him so that he doesn't starve...heck...I can't even call him when I want just to talk about a good or bad day I'm having. So when Jason tells me he's going to skype me at 6pm, he better be skyping me at 6pm!!! It's the only little piece of him I get.


Or at least that's how I used to feel. True, with his busy schedule and my not so busy schedule, the time difference, and the distance, communication is absolutely important and essential to the vitality of our relationship. However, I had to take a step back and look at what he's going through, his time commitments, and realize that I have to be a bit more understanding. Just because he signs on to skype a little late does not mean he doesn't love me, it doesn't mean he doesn't care, it doesn't mean he doesn't miss me, it doesn't mean he's cheating on me...it doesn't mean any of that. All it means is that he's got caught up in any one of his various commitments. 


Before Jason left for his first semester, we talked extensively about how this was going to affect our relationship and what we would do about it. I made him promise me only one thing: He would speak to me everyday, even if it was just to say goodnight or I love you. And I kid you not, everyday, Jason made sure he spoke with me, and if he didn't have time to have a very long conversation, he would at least check to see that I'm okay and tell me he loved me. I can't tell you just how special and wonderful that made me feel. Its hard to show someone how much you care for them when they are so far away, so telling me everyday is one of the best things he could have done to constantly reassure me that he cared. Because believe me, if you haven't already, you will start to think your med student doesn't care and that medical school is more important to them than you are...its so easy to feel insecure when you're dating a med student. You sometimes wonder if they should just date their books. It takes a lot of trust and communication between Jason and I for me to overcome my insecurity and sometimes I still fall prey to wondering whether or not he cares. But I just have to trust and rely on that trust that we built together over the past four years to make it through those times. It takes a tough, caring, and supportive person to date a med student. 




How do you overcome insecurity in a long distance, medical school influenced relationship?

An Almost Doctor's Almost Wife
aka Julia