Whoa! It's been a long time since I've posted anything here. I guess I can't exactly call myself a blogger :)
UPDATE
I think the last time I spoke about Jason, he was in his second semester of med school over at Ross University in the Caribbean. Well, now he's almost done with his fourth semester and will be coming back to America soon - for good. As great as that might sound, its not. Because he'll only be here for three weeks before he has to leave for Florida and be away for another four months. The good news is, at least he's back in the country - better internet, clearer calls, more accessibility.
REALITY CHECK
I started this blog to really document my experience of dating and being with someone who was in med school. The significance of this blog, I thought, was not only was my fiance in medical school (which presents challenges within itself) but he was also long distance. I searched and searched and could not find anything about a couple who was having to deal with the challenges of both being in med school and having to maintain their relationship long distance.
However, after reading over my last post, I believe I have left some significant information out, that truly documents our experience and I think is important to let any reader of this blog know.
Jason proposed to me in the third year of our relationship...before we knew he would be leaving out of the country to go to med school. We planned to have the wedding a year and a half later (which would have been earlier this year). However, after Jason's first semester of med school, Jason got cold feet and we had to cancel the wedding. Ladies, as you can imagine, this was devastating for me. Everyone knew about the wedding, everyone knew the date, almost everything had been paid for - it was a complete disaster and as you can imagine, I felt HORRIBLE..........
Jason felt so much pressure from school that first semester. He had to acclimate to a new environment and new culture. He was alone with no family and friends. His schedule was demanding. Many times, he wondered whether or not he would pass. Having been rejected from many (nope, make that all the ones he applied to) American medical schools, this university, for him, was seen as the last hope. If he failed out of here, his dream of becoming a doctor could very well be over. It's all he's ever wanted to do since he was nine years old. The thought of starting a family and being responsible to a wife frightened him. I think that was just too much for him to take on all at once.
Why did I feel it was important to reveal that....because it was for that exact reason that I began searching for others in similar situations and circumstances. Because I want to highlight just how hard this can be on the partner that is in med school. Of course, its probably no surprise, because everyone told him we would break up once he left. Jason went so far as to keep me a secret from fellow classmates so that he wouldn't have to hear people tell him that anymore.
THERE IS HOPE AT THE END OF THIS TUNNEL
So what happened after the cancellation? Many, many fights and arguments. Many, many conversations. The worst part of it all? He cancelled right before coming home for Christmas. He was home for only three weeks and then left again. I couldn't even have a proper fight with him and I had to put on a happy face for the holidays. And when the holidays were over, so was his vacation. So he had to go back to school with the issue being unresolved. It was SO hard to talk about this via Skype and in between his demanding schedule.
What we decided to do, was change it up for his next vacation. I left to see him, instead of him coming here. That way, we could be alone from family and friends to truly talk about the situation. We used the money we got back from the wedding to have a really nice vacation. Again, I put on a happy face and enjoyed the little time we had together. We were still a bit unresolved by the time we left.
It took many more conversations and a whole lot of time for us to get through this and for me to truly forgive him. Nearly a year later, he finally decided that he was ready. He never wanted to break up or leave me, but emphasized that he was not "canceling" the wedding, just "postponing" it.
So, now we're nearly to the end (of the beginning stages) of his journey through medical school. Classroom work DONE! Now he's getting prepared for clinical practice. I'll keep you updated ;)
