Well Jason has been gone for quite some time now and I must say that I really do miss him. We get to talk every now and then, but with exams on the horizon, and as if he didn't study enough already, he's gone into hyper-super study mode now. That means, more time for study and less time for me. I try not to stress him out, and just be as supportive as I can. It's not always easy, but I know in the end that he cares about me, and right now he just needs to focus.
Which brings me to the point that sometimes being with Jason, I just feel single. We've been together for four years now, and we're engaged to be married. It's quite strange to feel single when you're supposed to be getting married soon. Yet, that's how I feel. How else can I feel when my fiance is living in another country for most of the year, when I only get to see him a few weeks every now and then. When something sad or exciting happens, I can't just up and call him. I can't go out with him to places like the movies on the weekend. I can't come home to him, or wake up next to him. He's like a ghost, a phantom that I get to speak to every now and then, but I can't really hold, touch or feel. It's weird.
So what do I do about it? Well, I find other things to do with my time and other people to hang out with. And when I finally do get to talk to Jason via skype, I just cherish those moments. And even though I might not have really gotten to speak to him for maybe like a week, when I do finally get some of his time, its' like no time has elapsed at all and I remember why I'm with him and why I love him so much.
So that's where I am right now with this whole dating a med student thing and having a long distance relationship. Its tough at times, but I guess what keeps me going is the benefits we'll reap in the end and the fact that we're not going to be living like this forever. I am told that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well time will only tell how we readjust to being a daily and present part of each other's lives once again when he comes back home for good!
An Almost Doctor's Almost Wife
aka Julia
